Dave Shepherd posted a stream of consciousness thing about doubt over at Wordplay and I was pretty pleased with my response so I'm gonna do a twofer and post that shit right here.
Three years ago I met this guy at the Expo, right after I'd move to LA and knew next to nothing about anything. He agreed to look at my latest work and was cool enough to pass it around his management firm to three different readers. He passed me the coverage, which was polite but overwhelmingly negative. I thanked him and then went away to become a better writer.
So now that I have a script I'm proud of, I emailed the guy and asked if he'd like to take another chance on me. I felt very confident that this time, he would be impressed with my genius.
But then the other night it suddenly occurred to me that he might send me back three pieces of coverage universally panning my script and he might tell me I'm obviously a horrible writer and please never contact him again, because in three years I didn't get any better so clearly I never would. Go back to North Carolina, Emily, and prepare to spend the rest of your life teaching literary terms to small town kids who see no problem with praising Jesus at an assembly to commemorate 9/11.
And then I ate a chocolate bar and washed it down with chocolate milk and then because I felt guilty I lifted all my weights and did cardio until I collapsed in a river of failure tears.
Okay not really, but I did have a moment of intense panic.
Then I realized that was silly because I do not suck. And if this guy thinks I still suck, well, so be it. I'm not giving up.
Anyway, that's not what I posted on Wordplay. This is what I posted on Wordplay:
It's a completely arbitrary field. What one person thinks is genius other people might think is garbage. The gurus all disagree on style and structure and one person says there are really strict rules you absolutely must follow but working screenwriters always say screw the rules! Except some rules! Unless you feel like you don't need the rules!
It's confusing.
Then, even if you write the best screenplay ever and you sell it for a bazillion dollars, you still might be fired for doing everything right.
And even if you're not fired, the director might hire the wrong actor or Harvey Scissorhands will chop your film into an unrecognizable mass.
And even if the movie comes out, hey even if you win an Oscar, there's no guarantee you won't be homeless and begging for a job waiting tables three years from now.
So yeah, I think if you're not filled with at least the occasional doubt you're an idiot.
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