Kid Flicks: 3 Ninjas

Every family has a movie (or movies) that, for one reason or another, takes the VCR/DVD Player hostage and receives more repeat viewings than it deserves. In our house, some of those movies were Sister Act, D2: The Mighty Ducks, and The Meteor Man. These are just some of the movies I want to write about in my new series, Kid Flicks.

LIGHT UP THE EYES, BOYS!

LIGHT UP THE EYES!

My brother and I lived and breathed 3 Ninjas. For us, it wasn't corny at all. In fact, it was more than a movie, it was a step-by-step training manual for becoming a ninja.

What little kid didn't want to be a ninja? Movies like 3 Ninjas were just an excuse for siblings to practice karate on one another. And "practicing karate" was just an excuse to kick the hell out of each other while screaming loudly. "HI-YAH!" "LIGHT UP THE EYES!" "YOU MADE DAD LEAVE!"

When I was young, I hated visiting my grandparents. Old people, in general, made me uneasy. But Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum's grandpa was pretty different than mine. Theirs was a ninja. Mine was a mailman. Theirs was inexplicably Japanese. Mine was white, just like the rest of us.

Maybe if my grandpa gave me throwing stars and a food-related nickname, he'd get a phone call every once in a while.

I recently showed my wife 3 Ninjas. She'd never seen it before. Needless to say, she didn't love it. In fact, she didn't make it all the way through. Whitney, if you're reading this, you already know I can cut off family for not supporting my 3 Ninjas love. Maybe you give it another chance, yeah?

Most Memorable 3 Ninjas Images:
1. The "Light up the eyes!" dummy
2. That disgusting old babysitter lady in the closet with pizza all over her disgusting face.
3. Ohhhh! The masks with the light-up eyes! They'd let you know when your parents were coming. Best invention ever.