For those of you keeping score at home, Tiger Woods has now fucked 9 blonds and two brunettes - among them, multiple waitresses, two porn stars, and a British "sex-addicted cougar" - for a grand total of eleven pieces of heavenly strange. That's why I always laugh when people tell me that the men of the Great Depression and World War II are "the Greatest Generation." There can be no clearer evidence than Tiger that people like Tom Brokaw haven't got a fucking clue what they're talking about. Did you ever hear about Audie Murphy banging multiple porn stars? Did Playgirl have pictures of his putter? No and no.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of murdering Germans, but you've got to do better than that to win my admiration. I've never even seen golf being played, and I like Mr. Woods more and more every day.
It's official: Tiger Woods is now better than Jesus and Christmas should be a lot cooler this year.
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